I found the part about how all French moms apparently give birth in an assembly line fashion entertaining in a “omg that’s so weird” way. Like, I don’t care about how I give birth. Sometimes, she does nurse to sleep, but it's not a habit and hasn't seemed to cause any problems. Furthermore, according to both my pediatrician and modern research (Ferber talks about it in his book, for example), a four month old baby should only have to feed 1-2 times per night, and a five month old baby should only have to feed 0-1 times per night. Like I said, I ultimately think it’s good that in the US there is more respect given to different preferences and needs. - It was too late, your life had already ended. I tried many of the suggestions there, without much luck. At the beginning of this whole process, I started keeping a sleep log, and it has really, really helped me learn her rhythms (and nudge them, as required!). I think a lot of birthing people need more control. I know that pregnancy is always uncomfortable, but you know what else is painful and exhausting? I'm sure that some of the progress is due to her simply being older (5.5 months now, vs. 4 months at the beginning of this process). That’s the overall impression I got from the book and I appreciated it. Chua outlines the severe 'worse than helicopter mom' regime she imposed on her two daughters, Lulu and Sophia, to ensure their academic success, a strategy she ��� The second thing is some sort of performative martyrdom on behalf of women trying to win points for how devoted they are to motherhood which frankly just doesn't seem healthy for anyone. I personally loved the book. You hear this a lot, often as a moral judgement like, oh those terrible selfish people who just want to ruin doctor's careers for a quick buck. This is a big difference between doctors and midwives. put down "drowsy but awake"). I never actually used the Ferber method of CIO! I actually posted a cry for help here on BtB about how to reduce wakings at night, but only received comments saying that I shouldn't night wean (Advice on coaching baby not to need the boob so often at night?. Yikes, well if I'm doing more work in any case, I'll take the one where I don't also have to dress up to take my kid to the park! I was ready to, but never ended up needing it. I’m not asking people to justify to me why they don’t want an epidural btw, just wondering if anyone else feels the same as me. Wow that sounds great, I wish my OB would dismiss and ignore my preferences, what a feminist system this is! I gained 12lbs with my baby and was back in pre-pregnancy clothes a week later, no stretch marks or anything. As much as I hate to admit it, I definitely used pregnancy to indulge more than I normally would. Having had an epidural, there wasn’t any sleeping until time to push for me. For example, as other said laboring on your back is shown to lead to more complications and a higher chance of a cesarian. At the end of the day, medical necessity will be prioritized over personal preference. [–]BoundNRound [score hidden] 10 hours ago (0 children), OP- I definitely feel you on the birthing plan part. Português: Tudo começa quando Yuyuko sente vontade de comer brotos de bambu. I’m almost done with Bringing Up Bebe, too—though I mostly was interested in parenting differences over birthing. I always make sure I shower and I do my hair and make up nearly every day if I can. my subreddits. I stretched out time between night feedings by a half hour each night. of real people’s feelings but I’m kind of taking it as more of a theoretical approach. You're not going to die! The experience of pregnancy and the data in Expecting Better by Emily Oster (which suggests that the choice is often between a rougher labor or a rougher recovery in statistical generalizations, of course individual experiences differ widely). Pictures or links posted without content will be removed. Google has many special features to help you find exactly what you're looking for. She quickly noticed how French children behaved very differently from her own. [–]ttcthrowaway2020 [score hidden] 4 hours ago (0 children). I still keep the sleep log, since it really helps me track her naps! On Night 2, baby girl could feed every 2.5 hours, and so on. I definitely didn't agree with the childbirth part or the "maintaining sex appeal for your husband" part, but a lot of the other stuff in the book was interesting :), [–]BButFirstCoffeeTeam Blue! The book even includes statistics of how much housework/ childcare parents do in each country and the gender disparity was much worse in France. Don't get me wrong, I did have some strong cravings that I really wanted to satisfy (and I did), but there weren't too many of those when thinking about the whole 8 months I was pregnant. Search the world's information, including webpages, images, videos and more. I use the same bedtime routine for all naps and bedtime, and it's very short (5-10 minutes). [score hidden] 7 hours ago (1 child). However, once I started this process, if she woke up "too early," then I would have to get her to fall asleep without feeding her--she would cry, and it would be a longer process. "If your child needs socking, sock him! Since Day 5, I've been able to put her down "drowsy but awake" for almost all naps and bedtimes. I think there are a small number of people who truly don’t care how they give birth, who are fine being on their back with their legs spread, etc. use the following search parameters to narrow your results: All Bump Photos belong in our Stickied Daily Thread, All Ultrasound/Announcement Photos belong in our Stickied Weekly Thread. After a few weeks, I felt like I had really locked down the "getting to sleep" issue. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. In fact I had the exact opposite reaction as the OP to that quote from the doctor. Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman: This book is a fun read, but I especially enjoyed the different cultural perspective. Like, parents need to respect that their children are individuals who can control themselves, and kids need to respect that their parents are individuals who need grownup time. A night waking used to be quickly and quietly sticking the boob in her mouth, nursing for 10 minutes, and then both of us falling back asleep. I feel more frustrated that she's just pointed out all of the structural differences in French vs American society that make it more difficult for an American woman to be supported to go back to work and be herself without sacrificing the care of her child or paying amounts that few can afford. Oh I loved this book I read it before TTC and again during my third trimester! Congratulations on this working for you. We do occasionally have a hard time--she's refused some afternoon naps, and some bedtimes are rough, especially when naps haven't gone well that day. So put on those skinny jeans, bitch, because … you will feel so much better looking beautiful again after having your baby!” . My husband and I just started TTC so I’m planning to read a few pregnancy/parenting books. If it���s not one of the trio then, well, someone���s got a big surprise. Help! I think there was still something there that’s helpful in just the sense about maintaining your identity. - You cracked a smile before coughing up some blood - "That's the first time you've said that to me. I’m hoping to move around my room and try varying positions to maximize engagement, rotation, and FER during active and pushing phases. So on Night 1, baby girl could feed every 2 hours. I’d be curious if french society similarly wrests control away from parents so early. These days, I'll put her down pretty much wide awake--her eyes will be wide open, and sometimes she'll even be grumbling or low-level crying. Honestly it seems weird to imply that too much parental autonomy is the problem with giving birth in the US, when the opposite is true! Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth: I read this book, based on many recommendations. part of what comes from a very individualistic society is differing opinions being thrown at you from all angles. There is a never ending list of issues you can talk about with charter schools without ever once bringing up the actual quality of education. Originally posted by peachu. Small outerspace themed nursery - Old house, Better late than never. [–]QualityNameSelection [score hidden] 16 hours ago (0 children). She would go back to sleep quickly, but I felt like a zombie. Being overweight. Not even because I believe they’re all automatically better approaches, but because they just encouraged me to not just take for granted all of the cultural norms and practices I’ve gotten used to. 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